I want to bring awareness to something so you can see the bigger picture at hand and gain something here.


We always have the opportunity to either cope through a situation or GROW through it.


There is a place for both. However, extended periods of coping often have a detrimental effect.


Why is that?


When we simply aim to cope, we are saying to ourselves the situation at hand is happening TO us rather than FOR us.


We shut out the opportunity to grow and evolve.


For example, I lost my father to a short battle of cancer during my graduating year of high school. The days after his passing I went into a state of shock. The only thing I could do while in that state was cope. I did not have the capacity to grow in those moments. However, for four years after his death, I used an excess consumption of food and drugs to continue to cope.


My coping mechanism had now become a detriment to me and the people in my life. I was not growing during that time, I was surviving and barely doing that.


Now coping mechanisms don’t have to be this extreme. In fact, they’re often quite subtle.


So subtle in fact that many people don’t see them as coping at all. But rather just a normal way of living and handling a situation.


Subtle coping mechanisms include distracting yourself, blaming others including people and institutions, avoidance, disassociation, bypassing, ignoring, denial… are all common ways to cope with situations that feel too difficult or painful to fully experience. Thus life becomes one of a constant escape and can lead to feelings of being unfulfilled, confused, sad, anxious, numb etc.


Humans are built for growth and expansion. How do we do this? By cultivating our self-awareness. How do we become more self-aware? By GROWING through a situation as opposed to only coping with it.


But how the hell do I do that Lisa?


Well, your first step to growing through a situation is you must take full ownership of your experience. This can bring up emotions that quite frankly are easier to avoid. Hence why many people are coping/sleepwalking through life.


I encourage you to take a courageous stance and choose to grow and expand. For this is the key to your ultimate happiness. And as corny as it may sound… that’s what we’re striving for. Happiness.


You simply can’t be in total alignment with your path and purpose if you’re not growing and expanding.


Your purpose here is ever-expanding which means YOU must be ever-expanding.


For you to be ever-expanding you must cultivate deep self-awareness. For this, you must choose to not simply cope. Make sense?


Where can you start?


Ask yourself these questions to start understanding what you are really avoiding:


=> How am I using coping mechanisms to avoid experiencing a situation in its entirety?
=> What feels unsafe about this situation?
=> Why would that be scary?


Here is a common example :


How am I using coping mechanisms to avoid experiencing a situation in its entirety?
> I continue to watch Netflix (distracting) instead of addressing the fact that I don’t enjoy my work and want to start my own business.


What feels unsafe about the situation you are distracting yourself from?
> The thought of failing if I choose to leave the job I have.


Why would that be scary?
> If I fail I will let people down


Why would that be scary?
> If I let people down I’ll be the failure


Why would that be scary?
> If I’m a failure people won’t like me anymore


Why would that be scary?
> If people don’t like me they won’t want to be around me


Why would that be scary?
> If people don’t want to be around me I’ll be alone.


Why would that be scary?
>> If I’m alone I won’t be happy << [CORE FEAR/BELIEF]


Now imagine having a fear like this playing in the background… that’s enough to make a person with limited awareness succumb to extended periods of coping.


How we GROW from this is challenging the core belief of “If I’m alone I won’t be happy”. And unpacking it from the actions you take in your life.


It’s a process.


The journey of deep self-awareness takes courage, persistence and lots of self-compassion.


The outcome… alignment with your path and purpose.


AKA happiness baby.


Lots of love,

Lisa


Ps. I’m offering 1-hour Intuitive Guidance Sessions during this time to help you get unstuck and clear on your path moving forward. I have a few spots open next week. Contact me HERE to book