Hey, let’s chat about confidence for a minute. It’s one of the most common issues I help people with, but I want to offer a different perspective on it and share an easier way to have more confidence.
Instead of feeling like you have to create more confidence from scratch, which can feel overwhelming and like another impossible thing on your to-do list. Think of confidence as something you already have inside you. It’s just been buried or dimmed over time by life’s challenges. Many of which happened during childhood.
Imagine that your confidence is like a cup that started out full, but as you faced these moments and difficulties, it slowly started to empty out.
These moments can include things like:
- Criticism. When kids are criticized, they may start to doubt their abilities and feel insecure. For example, if a child is always told they’re not good enough in an area by caregivers or teachers, they often start to believe it and lose confidence in themselves in all areas, not just the area they were criticized for.
- Comparisons. When kids are constantly compared to others, they may feel like they don’t measure up and lose confidence in their abilities. For example, if a child is always compared to their more successful sibling or friend, they may feel like they can never be as good. This can lead to a constant stream of internal criticism in adulthood.
- Lack of support. When kids don’t receive support from important people in their lives, like parents or teachers, they may feel like they’re not valued or important. This can have a detrimental effect on how they view themselves in adulthood and the opportunities they go after.
- Trauma. Trauma can also play a role in eroding a child’s self-esteem. Traumatic experiences, such as abuse or neglect, can make kids feel like they’re not worthy of love or respect, leading to a negative self-image. This can affect all areas in adulthood including relationships, career, and overall life satisfaction.
- Unrealistic expectations. When kids are held to impossible standards, like being perfect at school or always winning, they may feel like they’re constantly falling short. This can lead to a lack of confidence, a fear of failure and the self-sabotaging pattern of perfectionism.
Everything mentioned above is not your fault. But it is your responsibility to do something about it or these issues will continue to impact how you feel about yourself and the opportunities to go for.
HOW TO CHANGE THINGS:
The truth is, there’s no reason why you can’t be beaming with confidence, in love with life, and going after everything you want. In fact, these positive qualities are more aligned with your natural, core, divine self than feelings of inadequacy and questioning if you deserve more in life.
One of the first steps to building confidence is to recognize that you already possess the innate qualities needed to achieve your goals. You don’t need to create this, it’s already there. You need to release, let go and/or integrate all of the reasons why your confidence got dimmed in the first place.
You can start by acknowledging your strengths, abilities, and accomplishments. Instead of focusing on what you believe you lack, focus on what you have to offer and what makes you unique and powerful!
Another important factor in building confidence is self-care. When you take care of your physical and emotional well-being, you’re sending a message to yourself that you’re valuable and deserving of love and care. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating well for your body, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and purpose.
Setting achievable goals is also essential for building confidence. I’m not saying to not dream big and go after things that others might view as unrealistic. In fact, I champion that way of thinking! But when you’re just starting to work on your confidence setting goals that are challenging yet achievable in a short time frame will stack confidence in your favor. This way you’re giving yourself an opportunity to prove to yourself what you’re capable of. Celebrate every small win along the way, and use those victories to fuel your confidence.
Lastly, seek support from others when you need it. Like a professional such as Toronto Life Coach Lisa Jeffs… talking about your feelings and learning practical tools to implement can help you gain perspective and build resilience.
Remember, embodying your natural state of confidence is a journey, and it takes time, effort, and a lot of letting go of old stories. But with consistency and a growth mindset, you can tap into your natural core divine self and become the confident, empowered person you already ARE!
Ps. If you’re ready for professional help book a complimentary discovery call with professional confidence coach Lisa Jeffs