How To Have Charisma: Your Key To Success [Podcast]

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AUTO GENERATED TRANSCRIPT

Opening Message
Welcome to the show leaders. Today. I am on vacation, so it may sound a little different. I’m hoping that it comes through okay, because this message is really, really powerful and it’s going to be something that helps support your growth, whether you are looking to help increase your business, your profits, your relationships, if you are looking to move up in your career or if you just want better connections in your personal life. Today we are talking about how to be more charismatic. Now, first let’s talk about what the heck is charisma anyways.

What Is Charisma?
So, according to Vanessa Van Edwards, who is a fantastic researcher and speaker on this topic, her definition is the perfect combination between warmth and competence. So that is the type of person who is friendly, they are kind, they are open, but you also view them as someone who knows their stuff. They are competent. Now, if we go in the direction of someone being very, very warm but doesn’t have that same mix of competence, we often like them. We often really like them. We often want to be around them a lot, but we don’t necessarily trust that they’re going to get the job done, and that is not helpful in a lot of work situations. Now, on the flip side, we can have someone who’s very, very competent and they can often move up the ladder. However, they often cap it at a certain point because without the warmth aspect, they can come off as cold and aloof, and people don’t want to deal with people who are cold and aloof all the time. So having that wonderful mix of warmth and competence really, really puts you above the bar and you can be viewed as someone who is very charismatic. People want to be around and you also get the job done. In other words, it’s a perfect combination of being liked and respected.

Why Charisma Matters (and Can Be Learned)
Okay, so, very, very important and I would say, from the work that I do and the people that I talk to and a lot of interactions I have, this is not a common skill, and I call it a skill because it is something that can be learned. Yes, there are people that have the natural ability to be charismatic, but it can also simply be a skill that you learn, and not a lot of people have it. So if you are really committed to growth, whatever you’re doing for your work, for your career, in your business, if you have a desire to impact more people, this is a skill you want to master. So let’s talk about how you can be more charismatic. What are the actual let’s call them, these micro habits, these little ways that you can practice and bring more charisma into your day to day?

Story: My First Lesson in Charisma
The first I’m going to tell you a little story first. The first time I noticed the power of charisma was when I went into a job interview, and this was when I was just shifting out. If you know my story, if you don’t, you can go back into the intro. I think I share this in the intro to the podcast. I mean the very first episode I ever did, where, straight out of high school, I got a job in the adult entertainment industry and I won’t go too much into it. But there got to be a point where I said you know what I want to get out of this? I want to go get a quote, unquote real job. And I was, I think, maybe 20, maybe 20, 21, I’m not sure and I wanted to go in to the mall. I had absolutely zero qualifications. I had never worked in retail, I had never worked at a store, but I put my application in at a store that I liked Um, actually, I don’t know if I I wore the clothes, I think it was just a store that I was familiar with, anyways, and I got a call back for the interview and I knew that I had zero qualifications for this job. In fact I’m not even sure what I put on the resume because I certainly don’t think I put on the adult entertainment world. So but I got a call and I knew that I would have to impress them with my interview skills because I had nothing else to bring. That said, I’d be great at this job.

Dress & Feel Powerful
So part of what you know a charismatic person is being comfortable in your own skin, is being comfortable with what you’re wearing. I can tell you right now you are not going to be charismatic If you are wearing something you do not feel comfortable in. It will show Okay. So that that’s key. That’s. That’s, besides, what we’re going to get into. But this is a little side note. You got to be comfortable in what you’re wearing and it’s even better if you feel powerful in what you’re wearing.

Interview Success Example
So I put on a pin striped suit, which at the time was very fashionable, and I had a red undershirt, the color of a powerful color, and when I walked into the mall I felt great. So I walked in shoulders, back, head held high, walking with my I think I had a briefcase and I walked in a relaxed, confident manner. When I met the woman, I smiled, I made eye contact. It’s interesting how I knew how to do all those things even though I really didn’t realize what I was doing at the time, even though I really didn’t realize what I was doing at the time. And then when we went to sit down I remember we were sitting on a bench just in the mall I used active listening skills, right. So I leaned in. When she was talking, I, you know, allowed her to speak. Right, I answered her questions. I also had my own questions. So I pulled out a piece of paper and I was taking notes and asking my own questions, interview, right. I smiled again, shook her hand. She said she’d let us, let us, let me know in a couple of weeks. And I said okay, great, again, my posture is strong, I’m smiling, I’m confident, I’m asking questions. And I got out of that mall, walked out of that mall I don’t think it was, I don’t even think I got back on the subway yet, maybe I did, I’m not sure and I got a call and it was her and she offered me the job and I knew it was because she was so impressed about how I was and I know the suit, the suit, really that was a big part of it, because I could see she was impressed how I dressed up for the interview. I don’t know how the other people that were interviewing dressed, but I’m assuming they didn’t put it didn’t look like they put in a lot of effort I should say.

Micro-Habits for Charisma
So let’s get into how you can start being more charismatic and utilize it for your own growth and expansion.

1. Grounded Body Language

So, number one, how you want to be more charismatic. First, you can’t start fidgeting and pull at things and have shifty eye contact and, you know, be moving stuff all over the place. You really have to have a grounded, calm stance, whether you are standing up. If you’re standing up, you don’t, you know, put your, you don’t close your arms right. Open arms, open body signals, warmth, making sure that you are breathing calmly. This demonstrates a level of competence. People see you as powerful, relaxed. They people see you as powerful, relaxed and and you can do this even if you don’t feel relaxed inside, even if you have anxiety inside.

2. Practice to Master Calm

Because I have gone to many interviews, I only told you about one. I’ve done many and they’ve all, except for one disastrous interview, which is a whole nother story went pretty pretty well like very high up on the the poll here and I absolutely felt anxious in some of them. I absolutely had nerves in some of them, but I know how to have that feeling, but not let it show on my body and all it is is practice. That’s all it is. It’s practice. So what’s really great, if you’re going to use this for interviews or any kind of pitching, is to tape yourself of pitching is to tape yourself. Right, have a practice.

3. Make Eye Contact

So number one if you want to look more competent is do not fidget. Is do not fidget. Okay, be calm, be peaceful, but also be open. Next one make eye contact. Now, I don’t mean drill your eyes deep into their soul, okay, until they feel super, super awkward, but not having shifty eyes or looking down and I know this can be a form, you know, when anxiety hits, we can start doing this. But it’s really important that you’re able to make eye contact.

4. Mirror & Repeat Key Words

What else can you do to be more charismatic? You can mirror the person’s energy. You can repeat back certain words that they said. I used to reframe a word. I used to hear people’s words and I would speak it back in the word that I like to use. Right, because sometimes we have different words that mean the same thing. But what’s even more powerful is just repeating the words that they use. This increases trust building.

5. Use Names Naturally

That can also go the absolute wrong way when overused and I see a lot of salespeople will do this and I’ve had to call out some salespeople because it gets really weird. But that is using a person’s name. So of course this builds trust. It builds connection.

6. Power Posture

Also, again, I already mentioned it in the story that I told you but posture is huge. This is a huge one. Even doing this alone and your charismatic meter is going to go sky high. Shoulders back, straighten up, head up, head up and walking with a relaxed stance.

7. Ask Questions & Stay Present

So here’s another one that’s really really, really helpful, and this one goes into competence and also warmth, and it leaves a very good impression on people, and that is asking questions.

Presence at Networking Events
I’ve been to many networking events, sometimes I think too many and there has been multiple occasions where I remember people just simply talking about themselves. Nothing wrong with talking about yourself, by the way, and sharing parts of you, but literally dominating the whole conversation and just talking about themselves. This does not build any trust, this is not warmth, and I would even argue it it. Borderlines are not seeming very competent either.

Practice Listening & Follow-Up Questions
People love to answer questions about themselves. I think it is Dale Carnegie in Dale Carnegie’s book how to Make Friends and Influence People how to make friends and influence people, where he shares how beneficial it is to ask questions.

Final Thoughts & Invitation
So start doing these simple, simple practices and you are going to appear, whether you feel like it or not, more charismatic, and it’s going to change your business, your career, your personal life. I promise you that. As always, leader, I appreciate you. Thank you for listening. I hope you can hear this okay. Again, I’m on vacation so I’m just recording this on my earphones. I don’t have my my usual mic with me, but send me a message on Instagram If you’d like a question answered on the podcast.

Work With Me
If you’d like to go deeper on some of these tactics, reach out and let’s talk about an intensive and see if an intensive where we work together in a VIP afternoon and then you have a week of support to start implementing some of these actions, is a good fit for what you are going through right now and what your goals are. Request a Power Play Call HERE

Closing
I love you, leader. I appreciate you. Magnetic Big dreams believe in it. Wisdom, we seeking it. Everything that you’re looking for, brought to you by Lisa Jeffs, the Magnetic Leader.