Ever wonder why a lot of people seem burnt-out and resentful… I sat down with my daughter a few days ago and had a little chat about her first few weeks at Highschool. She said as many teenagers do… “it’s been fine”.One thing she did comment on was the motto for the year. Apparently, the principal did a whole speech that the new school motto would be “We at (name of school) put other’s need before our own”… and he added… if you can do this then you will fit right in at (name of school). My daughter’s response… “I guess I won’t fit in”.
My child being the wise old soul she is, saw a huge issue with this new motto and had some passionate things to say. She added “there is a big difference between caring about people and doing nice things for them, and putting others needs before yours. You have to love yourself enough to put you first”.
What can say, my daughter pays attention when I speak!
This is a concept many people can’t grasp. A lot of us have grown up with this bogus programming that has us believing doing things for ourselves such as pampering, spending money, spending time, saying yes to us and no to others, asking for what we need (gasp)… somehow makes us ‘Bad people’ selfish and wrong!!!
So what happens… you have a bunch of self-neglected, burnt-out people walking around who think putting their needs last somehow makes them ‘better’ ‘right’ ‘worthy’ ‘kind’.
Good intention… but there is a better way and it simply takes a switch in perspective.
Putting your needs first is an extremely powerful form of self-love. Which allows you to be the best version of you AND be able to give back at a much higher level. If you are in a purpose-driven business, this is crucial!
There is a significant difference between putting your needs and happiness first and ONLY caring about your needs and happiness. And when I say significant, I mean night and day… zero comparison.
Your happiness is one of the greatest gifts you can give your family, clients, team. Read that again and really let it sink in.
This does not mean neglecting your loved ones, clients, team members. Or causing them pain and purposefully hurting them in the name of your happiness.
This means falling in love with yourself and caring about YOU to the point it affects others positively just by being around you.
Have you ever been around a person who is vibrating so high, it just feels incredible to be in their presence. Those people aren’t putting themselves last ‘on the list’ believe me. They take care of themselves, physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, so they can maintain that high vibration. Those are my people!
Another big benefit is being an example to our family, clients, team, friends. Imagine your entire circle vibrating high because they’ve been prioritizing their needs. BOOM! Literally, nothing feels better.
So how do you put your needs first in a way that feels good?
First realize that if you’re not used to putting your needs first, it’s more than likely going to feel weird, possibly icky, possibly evil, more often than not… selfish.
Believe me this will pass the more you do it and the more you see that filling your own bucket improves your life and the life of your loved ones drastically.
Next Start Telling Yourself A New Story About What Putting Your Needs First Means…
Example: It’s a powerful form of self love
It means my children learn by example how to value their own needs
It means I teach my family, friends, team members what my boundaries are through my actions (again self-love)
Then Get Clear On What You Actually Need
I’m not talking about what you need to survive (food, shelter, sleep). I’m talking about what you need to feel whole and feel you are living the best human experience possible.
Example: I need extended time alone for myself daily. DAILY. Not once a week, not whenever it’s possible. DAILY. And I’ve created a life for myself that gives me that time alone. I feel no guilt around taking that time for me (even if that means people need to wait for assistance from me) because that time allows me to centre myself, recharge, raise my vibes and be the best version of me.
After That Ask For What You Need?
It’s OKAY to express to others what you need, want, desire.
Have you ever felt offended when another person expressed from the heart what they need? Unlikely.
I find it quite refreshing and see it as a sign of heightened personal awareness.
However, it’s not always easy expressing these needs. Especially to those with deep seeded programming around being ‘selfish’ in regards to making requests.
It teaches others to do the same. It helps to raise the collective consciousness. If you can read energy or are in tune with it, you will be aware that this is the way the world is shifting.
Then Of Course – Just Freakin Start
Start slow if you have to, incorporating one act you do daily that demonstrates you putting your needs first.
Begin valuing how you feel, above all else and watch how your world improves as well as those around you.
I’ll repeat again, YOUR happiness is one of the greatest gifts you can give your loved ones.
Test out the theory for yourself 😉
Lots of love,
PS. I’m currently accepting two new purpose-driven leaders into my 6 Month VIP program. Apply ==> HERE.
Accepting applications until September 22 2018 or until the spots are filled.