Losing self-confidence can happen to anyone. Maybe you had a bad experience with a client or received a complaint. Or maybe you didn’t receive the promotion that you interviewed for and so badly wanted. This type of situation can leave you with disappointment, doubt and a loss in your self-confidence. Although something we have likely all experienced at least once in our lives it is an upsetting feeling and it can oftentimes feel hard to bounce back from.
The good news is that we can learn from our failures and past experiences and use this to not only regain confidence but to also set ourselves up to better handle mistakes, failures and even embarrassments in the future. In this post we will discuss strategies that you can utilize to learn how to regain confidence and build confidence in the future.
Know Your Worth
When you feel that you have had your confidence shaken it can be easy to fall into feeling like you aren’t good enough or that you can’t do anything right. This way of thinking will only play into your self-doubt and cause more self-confidence issues. To avoid getting stuck in a rut it is important to remember that although something not great has happened you still have many things that you are good at and you are worthy.
An example of this could be that you have received a personal complaint from a customer attacking your competence. You are now worried that you really aren’t good at your job and are not worthy of being in this space. Instead of dwelling on the complaint go back to remembering why you are here. Think of times when you have done something right for a customer and they were thankful for your help. Know that although you have had a bad experience it does not make you bad.
In both your personal and professional life, it is important to acknowledge your success’. You wouldn’t be where you are now if it weren’t for all the hard work you put in to get there. Remember things that you are good at as well as past success’ and reflect on how you can apply that success to the situation you are faced with today.
Learn from Your Mistakes
It is not always easy but try to find a positive from your bad experience. It is important to try to use your negative feelings to reflect and learn. It is often hard to hear but there may be truth in what someone has said to you, even if it shakes your confidence and makes you uncomfortable. Learning to accept criticism and apply it is a crucial skill for growth. You won’t grow if you are unable to accept that you won’t always be perfect. Consider that you would never know how to improve, if no one ever told you what was wrong.
Taking steps to recognize your weakness is not always an easy task. Pride or fear may get in our way of acknowledging what needs improvement. We can’t grow if we aren’t willing to accept and embrace change. Be accountable to yourself and learn to be willing to accept that you may have made a mistake. It will be easier to regain confidence if you can accept that you won’t always be perfect.
It is always important to consider that some criticism may not be valid. You know your worth and what you are capable of. Practice being mindful of what others have said to you. Learn to accept criticism and learn from your mistakes. But also try to remember that not everything negative said to you is correct. Try to keep an open mind and be willing to feel uncomfortable
Talk It Out
It can often be helpful to talk about what you are feeling with someone who may understand. By keeping our feelings of self-doubt to ourselves we risk internalising it and possibly talking ourselves into believing it being worse than it is. Turn to your support network when you are feeling off or doubting your abilities.
A trusted friend or colleague may be able to help you figure out what is bothering you and discuss ways you can work toward making things better. They may be able to see the situation through a different lens and can help you to remember that you are worthy. Having a strong support network can go a long way towards helping you regain your self-confidence. Talking with a friend can be a a good step to take when trying to get ”unstuck”.
Set Realistic Goals and Achieve Them
When we set a goal and fail it can be shattering. Sometimes we put so much effort into huge goals that we don’t consider failure to be an option. We get wrapped up in the goal we can sometimes loose sight of if it truly ever was an attainable goal. This can be devastating when the goal is not achieved or does not turn out the way we expected.
Consider setting smaller goals that can be achieved in a short time to help you regain your confidence. It is unlikely that you would ever set a goal to run a marathon without having ever ran a mile. It seems silly to set such grandiose goals without giving yourself smaller goals to work towards along the way.
Remember that it is important to set big goals and being a dreamer is a wonderful thing. Try not to get wrapped up in excitement and set small goals for yourself to achieve along your journey. By first completing a 5km race and then a 10km race you gain confidence in your ability while still working towards your goal of running the marathon. Apply this strategy to all areas your life and start celebrating the small wins.
Breathe, It’s OK
Be kind to yourself and remember that it is perfectly natural to doubt yourself at times. You will have success and failures thought your life. But what is important is that we learn from these failures. Try to keep a positive attitude when faced with a lack of self-confidence.
Remember that it is a good idea to set yourself small goals, talk to a friend and always keep in mind the great things you have done in the past. Our self-confidence is something that will change over time as we learn and change as people. Not working through our feeling of doubt will only hold us back from reaching out potential and it is critical that we get uncomfortable to grow. We need to be confident in ourselves but give yourself time and to make this happen.